Hung Truong: The Blog!

Songs about Dustin Hoffman

So I got my iTunes $10 gift certificate from Blingo.com the other day, and I finally used it to buy some music. I was gonna buy a iTunes exclusive TMBG album, but then I decided on getting some albums from that band, Of Montreal, that I blogged about earlier. The albums I got are “Early Four Track Recordings” and “Aldhils Arboretum.” They were both only $4.49 each! The former has some interesting track titles. Here they are:

1. Dirty Dustin Hoffman Needs A Bath
2. Dustin Hoffman Gets A Bath
3. Dustin Hoffman Thinks About Eating Soap
4. Dustin Hoffman Scrubs Too Hard And Loses Soap
5. Dustin Hoffman Does Not Resist Temptation To Eat The Bathtub
6. Dustin Hoffman’s Wife Comes Home
7. Dustin Hoffman’s Wife Seems Suspicious About The Absent Tub
8. Dustin Hoffman Feigns Ignorance Of Missing Bathtub
9. Dustin Hoffman’s Wife Calls In Detective To Dust For Porcelain Particles On Dustin Hoffman’s Tongue
10. Dustin Hoffman’s Tongue Taken To Police Lab Where It Is Used As Toilet Paper and Reading Material While On The Toilet
11. Dustin Hoffman Offers Lame Possible Explanation For Missing Bathtub
12. Dustin Hoffman’s Wife Makes A Sarcastic Remark, Cuts The Head Off A Duck, Places It Where The Tub Was and Begins To Growl
13. Dustin Hoffman Becomes Indignant And Wets Himself
14. Dustin Hoffman Quits Bathroom And Climbs A Tree
15. Dustin Hoffman’s Children Enter The Bathroom
16. Dustin Hoffman’s Children Don’t Enter The Bathroom

Seriously, how could I make this shit up even if I wanted to!? Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), the songs’ contents don’t really have anything to do with Dustin Hoffman. Even so, the songs are pretty cool, and I dig em, so I’m pretty happy with my “purchase.” You should check em out if you’re weird and/or you like weird ass music.

Death by 'ffeine?

Death by Caffeine takes your weight and tells you how many ___ it would take for you to die from caffeine overdose. I chose TAB to prove this calculator wrong. I contend that one whole TAB would cause me to lose all will to live. This is because TAB is totally gross. Anyway, try this calculator out if you’re a suicidal coff-a-holic.

Blingo, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

Remember how I was blogging about that Blingo thing? Well today I actually won a $10 for iTunes! I was all, what the heck!? So anyway, I guess I read the rules wrong. If you sign up for blingo, I get your prize if you win, but not the other way around. Sorry if I seemed misleading. I was all happy for everyone who signed up as my friend too, but then I was all, oops, they don’t win. You should still sign up though, cause I want your prizes! Yeah!

Chicken Choking 101

So there's this toy that teaches kids how to “choke the chicken.” No, not that chicken! It's a toy chicken, called Choke-a-Chicken that you literally choke!

Michael Beatty, spokesman for the Queensland state branch of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, fumed: “What's next? Burn a cat? Shoot a dog?

Personally, I'd figure the next toys in this particular line would be: Spank a Monkey, or Groom a Wookie. Note: I did some extensive research on future toys over at Wikipedia.

Shazam!

Yeah! I posted all of my old blog posts from Ujournal.com and the good ones from xanga. Now they’re all on freaking livejournal. I swear, livejournal, if you fuck with me, I’ll cut ya!